The Quiet Life

Today I went downtown and met Lorraine.
We spent a couple of hours doing some creative writing exercises.
I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
I might post one of the stories here.

Anywho------I am reading a really good book.
"Giovanni's Room" by James Baldwin (1956)
I am perhaps a third of the way through the book.
It is an excellent read.
Very dramatic.

I realize(with much glee)how little drama there is in my life.
And it makes me so happy.
When I was younger my whole life was about drama, it seems.
That is probably a distortion but still.....
I was very much into a dramatic existence.
I thought the rush of contrary emotions
helped me to feel more alive.
But in fact, all it did was create lots of anxiety.

The last five years of my life has been filled with real drama.
My brother was killed in a war in the Middle East five yrs. ago.
And my father just died of diabetes this past March.
And yet, despite these HUGE losses,
I still feel as if my life is relatively calm....and I LOVE IT!!!

I no longer need drama in my life
in order to validate my existence.
I am immensely satisfied with serenity.

I do believe that I am repeating myself.
But it is worth repeating.
I am so happy having a quiet life.

And now I know how to leave other peoples' drama to them.
I can listen. Interject.
But I don't let the drama suck out my energy.
I don't make the drama my own.
Thank God!!!

Of course, the ability to unplug is a work in progress.
I am not always able to remain a witness.
Sometimes I do get wrapped up.
But now I often catch myself before getting fully razzled by someone else's drama.
And I step back.
And take a breath.
And centre myself once more.
Then I can listen again without being zapped of energy.
How beautiful is that?